the 2010 movie review

I used to love radio... USED. Saturday mornings ushered in a new episode of the ‘Rick Dees’ chart show and some evenings I would wait for Ike on Cool F.M to play those hard-to-get rock songs. The radio was my friend, my TiVo, blackberry, podcast, r.s.s feed all rolled into one... at least until those came along. I used to believe everything I heard on radio, trusted the OAP’s taste in music and everything else. So I guess I was feeling nostalgic when I overheard some dude on radio say the movie ‘2012’ was a “must see” and I believed him.

And it was by some funny stroke of fate that Mr Alexander Yangs decided to give everyone a ‘treat’ on Friday. “Movie and drinks on me everyone”, said the good man. I guess it was also fate that got us to the cinema late and narrowed our movie options to the last 30 minutes of ‘A Christmas Tale’ or the entire ‘2012’ movie. We made the obvious choice.

THE 2012 MOVIE REVIEW

I am tired of watching the world end, so my review might seem a little biased. The first put off? 2012 has the same director as ‘The day after tomorrow’, another end-of-the-world movie plus several other disaster movies (Independence day, 10,000 B.C et al... dude has it in for humanity). Another thing was my sitting position (o.k. that didn’t have anything to do with 2012 but...).

The plot thin as ice and special effects dizzying and big-budget, no one can criticize the movie as being boring, bland or low on high points. But there are just some moments where you get the feeling you are being rushed through the story. It was kind of like the editor said “let’s just put random stuff in between this special effect sequence and the next”. The characters didn’t help either. Cusack and Peet both looked like they were reading different scripts and Ejiofor couldn’t make up his mind whether he was playing a gay villain with identity issues or a daddy’s boy scientist with an overtly large heart. The only one saving grace was ‘Yuri’... the Russian billionaire with a sense of humour and a voice-activated Bentley. Don’t get me wrong every actor played his part, the problem was actually the ‘parts’ themselves.

The bible, Noah’s ark, corrupt politicians and not a shag scene in sight. We were force- fed with animated red skies, realistic giant tidal waves, the destruction of the United States and eventually an exodus to Africa (as if we weren’t already overpopulated). A predictable cast-casualty-list (c’mon, we all knew the goody two shoes boyfriend of the actor’s love interest had no chance) sprinkled with the usual well placed emotional set-piece (hello... I called to say I love you before I di... ITS HERE!! GARRRRRR!!!!!... yawn), the movie had no stand-out points at all. All 2012 offer as morals are as follows

1) Billionaires don’t want to die
2) Thandie Newton is still hot
3) Sony paid a lot of money for product placement and finally...
4) Mr Emmerich is a sadistic man that fantasises about the end of the world

After all said, I really DID enjoy watching 2012, but maybe that was because I didn’t pay for the ticket or I was chatting with Krystabel on my blackberry for the better part of it.
Verdict: 6/10 (Catch it on cable)

GMG